Not a Promise
This is not a promise,
just a flaky muse:
What if I gave you peaches, cut to the pit just
at the moment of sugaring? What if
you shivered when the juice tracked your chin,
amused to be sticky again?
What if a moment were enough?
I can’t say, but what if I showed up with
wildflowers and you’d just been pondering that
empty corner in your kitchen? Would they be
just perfect or are you allergic
to wildflowers
or gifts that show up, riding a beaming smile as if
you’d asked the universe a question? Be careful of
requests; Choose your words like a lawyer.
The universe might just make you divorce that
habit you wear…out.
Funny how the badminton shuttle rights itself with
each hit. Funny, the sight of you, chattering and
restringing my racket…again, endless patience and
contentment at twenty paces. My limitless listening.
My serve…
What if the night sounds of my house became
familiar and you slept eight hours, your hand, food on
the plate of mine, feeding us rest?
You could plant tomatoes and I could weed when
I remember. Wineberries, catnip, tearthumb. Just
a notion. Could be shiny.
I have to laugh that we can’t seem to get more than
five volies of that shuttle off before I miss. I’m willing
to practice but the weight of your gaze on my hair
is distracting. What if I got the rhythm?
Your serve…
—-Wren Tuatha
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Sketches of the Falling Away…
Words are thin.
Don’t paper me at midnight when the
truth is you’re leaving.
Don’t start a fight to make the leaving
right.
Keep me in your eyes instead, cunning,
murky, devoted. Everywhere your eyes land
I will be the hue of desire, the fabric in your
grasping hand. You wear me and no change of
season will have you putting me down. Even as you leave, to travel,
to find what I was not,
you take me with you.
__________
These are the things that are falling away.
The quickness in our pulses, the sympathy of our
eyes for each other, dances without obvious music.
This is my skin, continuous with only itself.
In my room, a box of stillness and furniture
that knew you.
And a breath comes like the turning
of a motor with the oil all burned off.
There’s no way the next one could be better.
–Wren Tuatha
Poly Living 2009, Philadelphia
We’re heading out this weekend for Loving More’s Poly Living conference in Philadelphia. I had a great time attending the World Polyamory Conference at Harbin Hot Springs in California last September, so I’m looking forward to checking out this east coast event!
For those unfamiliar, polyamory (“many loves”) is having or being open to multiple deep, caring, committed relationships. It is not swinging, cheating or promiscuity. Loving More, the organization putting on this weekend’s conference, has a great FAQ section that covers the questions and concerns I hear the most, including jealousy, STD’s, logistics of seeing multiple people, etc. If you are curious or dubious, you should check it out!
Polyamory is built on transparency and deep communication skills. So I feel the conferences and other gatherings have much to offer people in relationships or seeking relationships, whether poly or monogamous. Many gatherings teach tantra, meditation and other practices that can bring couples closer, whether the relationships are open or closed.
Along these lines, I’ve found Network for a New Culture to be a valuable meeting place for new friends and a convergence point for many ideas I am drawn to, including transparency and polyamory. Not everyone who attends New Culture events is polyamorous, and the organizers are great at making everyone feel welcome and respected. Network for a New Culture produces Summer Camps on the east coast and west coast. After hearing from friends who’ve attended for years, I’m finally going to the East Coast Summer Camp this July! I know it will be a transforming experience, with lots of ZEGG Forum, Heart of Now, community, and for me, polyamory!
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Finding NYC through the Pinhole of My Windshield
My original plan was better. I know myself and I felt that if I ever ventured to New York City, I’d better travel with a friend familiar with the place who could show me the ropes, keep me moving and help me not look like a hippie-chick-from-the-woods-in-the-headlights with a giant target on my coat. So when my partner Iuval, who grew up in New York, asked me to travel there with him, it sounded perfect.
Then my mom was in a car wreck and Iuval and I spent a month on the road dealing with family matters, followed by a week in Berea, Kentucky for Christmas Country Dance School. When we got back to Heathcote and he said, “When should we leave for New York?” I couldn’t do it. I needed to be still and be kissed by dogs. He went on the bus without me and I planned to drive up alone the following weekend. Me. The small town kid who had panic attacks when she first moved to Maryland and drove around downtown Baltimore was going to drive into New York City alone.
This isn’t dramatic enough. Let’s add a snowstorm headed my way. Not enough yet? Let’s add that the windshield wiper jets on my car had failed and helpful poly sweeties Iuval and John had removed them, rigging a rubber hose with a nail in the end, held in position by a clamp. Let’s further add that this contraption only works at highway speeds. In case this seems implausable to you, I include a picture of my new hood ornament.
I decided to leave several hours earlier than planned, to beat the snow to New York City. But I had parked the Heathcote Earthings van on the lawn of Heathcote’s mill for our annual inventory and the battery had died. It wouldn’t take a charge and the first charger we tried appeared dead, too! Delays! I had to abandon that adventure and get on the road. Thanks to Heathcoters John and Bob for getting my van moving!
So I was on the road to the big scary city, alone with weather threatening. But despite the annoyance of high tolls, the trip was fairly easy. I left early enough that I missed the ice that gripped NYC streets that night. And when the flakes appeared and I needed to use my sprayer, I was able to maintain those magic highway speeds. My gps took me a different way than Googlemaps, but I’m a wimp and it’s easier to listen to a computer voice than read maps in traffic. I found the Guggenheim Museum, about which I’ll post later. I even found a parking spot around the corner and nobody honked at me or mugged me. I am a powerful witch. I earned a cookie.
When Activists Date Each Other….
“Hmmm,” He’s not sure I should extend my carbon footprint by coming over tonight. It’s a long drive, but I canceled last night, when I would have been in his area. He sites writers who point out that monogamy, indeed marriage, is more sustainable. Divorced couples haul kids between households. Come to think of it, this polyamory thing could become a significant contributor to greenhouse gases.
Perhaps, but so could the piteous groans I emit when I don’t get laid. So here’s the plan: I’m coming over and I’ll drive the speed limit. I’ll pick up any hitchhikers I see on the way and we’ll stop every fifteen miles to plant native trees and spay stray dogs. In my current state, I may not be thinking clearly, so I’m not sure how stray dogs contribute to global warming, but I’ll spay them for our collective karma. You have your pet issues and I have mine…
When I get to your house, I’ll graze locally on your lawn and shrubbery for dinner. Then I’ll let you slowly peel off the seven layers of Goodwill clothes I’m wearing because you minimally heat your house. Then, after all these mitigations, we’ll commit some serious global warming…Ooh, baby!
Friendly Skies: Flying to Poly Partners
…Curio Coast,
Where beach and wave define each other,
Hold each other in some dependency,
Maybe love, maybe war.
I seek my border.
What piece of matter is me, what is you.
At the edge, movement is change and
Results are visible.
The wave and the sand are restless dance partners.
Boxing partners, business partners,
Negotiating territory in an uneasy waltz.
But I grew up on the Ohio.
Misters Mason and Dixon don’t know that
Nothing marks a border like water.
Water like a highway, water like a fence,
Depending on your species.
But a river is a means to an end. The coast…
The coast.
–excerpt from “Curio Coast” by Wren Tuatha
I’m on a plane to Kentucky to visit my mom, Patti, my ex, and John, a friend and lover I’ve been commuting to see for about a year and a half. From there I fly to Virginia (ironic name) to see Harold, another sweetie. I’ll be visiting him in his home for the first time. In September Harold and I will attend the World Polyamory Conference in California–We’ll share two oceans in in two months!
The sign in this picture is a warning along Louisville, Kentucky’s waterfront. It amuses the hell out of me!
Pilgrim of this Moment
My new pet, gurrlfriend/boifriend, speaker of those bottle rocket fears, operator of those hands, and what else can that mouth do? I am so edgy tickled you have landed here for a while. Welcome to the possibility that you might get what you need even as you protest that you may or may not want it/trust it/taste it.
Welcome to my hut in the woods that smells like pond dogs and sounds like a relaxation birdcall CD. Take scratchy dreadlocks and three hours sleep. Take or leave the chore list and remember to warm the hammock with slow streamside breaths. When my work is done I might squeeze in and hear you tingle and purr and set off fire crackers of doubt and flow chart scenarios.
It’s about this moment.
The next will have its way with us. Specific as a seed, a thistle won’t grow from the acorn you bring. There’s more in the site you pick, the depth of planting, a drink of water, getting dirty, respiration and the waiting.
Give breath to this presence, like a wordless animal noticing the planet as it turns, then taking another bite of bergamot; like a pilgrim arriving, the stony muscles of travel loosening with an inhale at the sight of the temple–more honest, quiet and timeless than the brochure could show. Touch me here. Pray this moment. The next will have its way with us.
Brilliant Contact Community Aquires Land
June 17, 2010: I just received this update from Alex Perlman about this story:
I trust life is going great for you!
I don’t know if you made it onto any of the conference calls I did in the last few days. I hope you noticed the invitations. I’ll be updating the http://www.brilliance.org/ site in the next few days with a link to listen to last night’s call either on the web or on the phone at any time via a recording.
For people who’ve listened to one of the calls I’ve set up a survey to get feedback. That’s at http://www.brilliantcontactcommunity.com/
Some people entered Brilliant Contact Community in their Google search rather than going directly to the site and what the pulled up was your Hippie Chick Diaries post from 2008. It’s a beautiful post with the pictures and everything. However, we didn’t acquire the land in the meeting you mentioned there and it’s confusing people. We’re currently on an all-out drive to pull together the funds to buy that land and some additional neighboring acreage for a total of over 8,000 acres.
If you’d delete or better yet update that post so people aren’t confused, I’d really appreciate that.
Looking forward to connecting again soon.
Peace, love, and hugs,
Alex
Here is the original 2008 post:
I just got great news on Facebook. Brilliant Contact Community in California is buying land! I won’t be able to make this meeting but I’ll be in the area in September for the 2008 World Polyamory Conference. Maybe I can visit and see things progressing then!
This is Brilliant’s announcement:
July 14th is the biggest day yet for the Brilliant Contact Community™. After almost six years of negotiation with the owner of a gorgeous property in the California wine country just north of San Francisco spanning over 10 square miles, we’re sitting down to sign the deal.
The owner, his lawyer, my lawyer, the project manager, the lead financier, and a supportive local rancher are all meeting with me to pen the deal. The owner has been difficult on the final wording although we’ve agreed on all the basics.
It’s all coming down to this meeting. Your inner support and sending energy to manifest this vision is requested and gratefully appreciated. Please RSVP so we can tell the owner how many people are in the meeting with us from afar and more importantly so I can know you’re there with us, albeit behind the scenes.
Whatever way works for you to support this vision in your heart and being is what I’m requesting. I trust in the perfection of whatever unfolds.
The times are PST. EST is three hours later. Greenwich mean time is eight hours later. The meeting starts at 10am and we’ll stay as long as it takes so I can’t really say the finishing time.
Thanks for being present for the vision. You can see more at our preliminary website at:
In our plans are the following:
• Conference facility and sprung-wood dance floor to accommodate 500 people
• Artisan facilities
• Extensive organic gardens, pools, greenhouses, trails
• Wonderfully embracing social engagement spaces
• About 1000 homes
• High-end fitness facilities and spas
• Much more!
Our commitment is to environmental and ecological sustainability and to supporting the highest possibilities in consciousness, well-being, and interpersonal integrity.
Feel free to pass the word to all who may wish to support the manifestation of this vision by holding space for it within.
